I need a helicopter or something.
Friday, November 20, 2009
Saturday, October 11, 2008
Friday, September 26, 2008
I need to think of some new things to post about here
Now that I don't and never will again be making the miserable ridiculous drive to and from Newark , I will be experiencing far far fewer incidents on the roads that will be idiotic enough to make a post here. I need to start posting about things other than driving. I need to find other things that I think suck and take pictures of them.
Monday, September 15, 2008
Washington DC
I drove down to DC yesterday. I don't remember the last time I drove
outside of the NJ NYC area. It's possible that I never have.
outside of the NJ NYC area. It's possible that I never have.
I was on something called the Belt Parkway. Why the fuck are there so
many dramatic curves on that thing? Why must it meander?
Also, that giant white Mormon church is ridiculous.
People from Pennslyvania seem to be the most dumbest drivers around
here. I drove on Sunday, though. I wonder if the daily commuters are
more or less terrible at staying in their lanes and maintaining their
speed.
Tuesday, September 09, 2008
Fuck you TomTom and Holland Tunnel
On the Friday of Labor Day weekend, I decided to take a trip to Brooklyn to see my good friend. I'm not sure why, but I started my journey there at 4pm. My friend and I assumed that most people would be traveling in the opposite direction, out of NY city to their Labor Day vacation destinations. That was false.
Things were looking ok at this point, I don't know where the hell I was.
My TomTom navigation system is pretty much useless anywhere around NYC. There are a lot of places where there are like 5 roads all converging in the same direction, some on bridges overhead. You can see in this picture that the TomTom was telling me to go straight, but there were 3 different "straights". Also, it was telling me to get on "Hwy 139", which is apparently the road that the Holland Tunnel is. But the signs all say "Holland Tunnel", not "Hwy 139". It never even gave me a hint that I was going towards the Holland Tunnel. I probably should have figured that out by this point, but I was letting the TomTom take me where it wanted. That was not smart.
Eventually, after going the wrong way a couple of times thanks to TomTom the retarded navigator, I arrived at the shit ass Holland Tunnel. I have always heard that the Holland Tunnel is an old piece of shit that should be avoided, but for some reason I decided to trust TomTom (made in Europe). I think I have finally learned to never trust it until I am really close to my destination. Look at this mess.
Apparently the entrance to the Holland Tunnel is right in the middle of a major city. There are several stop lights between this point and the entrance to the tunnel, and of course nobody pays attention to the lights or the fact that they're blocking the entire intersection. I sat here for a very long time.
Eventually, I got through the toll booth. Then I saw this guy picking his toes out his window in the "20 lanes merge into 1" area right before you actually enter the tunnel. He had the song "Never Gonna Give You Up" by Rick Astley playing really loudly on his radio. At this point I started to think that maybe I was losing my mind. But luckily I took a photo, so this must have actually happened. I got Rick Rolled at the Holland Tunnel.
It took me like 2 hours to drive the 25 or so miles from my home to Brooklyn. The TomTom estimated that the trip would take about 40 minutes. Fuck you TomTom.
Things were looking ok at this point, I don't know where the hell I was.
My TomTom navigation system is pretty much useless anywhere around NYC. There are a lot of places where there are like 5 roads all converging in the same direction, some on bridges overhead. You can see in this picture that the TomTom was telling me to go straight, but there were 3 different "straights". Also, it was telling me to get on "Hwy 139", which is apparently the road that the Holland Tunnel is. But the signs all say "Holland Tunnel", not "Hwy 139". It never even gave me a hint that I was going towards the Holland Tunnel. I probably should have figured that out by this point, but I was letting the TomTom take me where it wanted. That was not smart.
Eventually, after going the wrong way a couple of times thanks to TomTom the retarded navigator, I arrived at the shit ass Holland Tunnel. I have always heard that the Holland Tunnel is an old piece of shit that should be avoided, but for some reason I decided to trust TomTom (made in Europe). I think I have finally learned to never trust it until I am really close to my destination. Look at this mess.
Apparently the entrance to the Holland Tunnel is right in the middle of a major city. There are several stop lights between this point and the entrance to the tunnel, and of course nobody pays attention to the lights or the fact that they're blocking the entire intersection. I sat here for a very long time.
Eventually, I got through the toll booth. Then I saw this guy picking his toes out his window in the "20 lanes merge into 1" area right before you actually enter the tunnel. He had the song "Never Gonna Give You Up" by Rick Astley playing really loudly on his radio. At this point I started to think that maybe I was losing my mind. But luckily I took a photo, so this must have actually happened. I got Rick Rolled at the Holland Tunnel.
It took me like 2 hours to drive the 25 or so miles from my home to Brooklyn. The TomTom estimated that the trip would take about 40 minutes. Fuck you TomTom.
Thursday, May 15, 2008
This is not safe
One of the most fun and exciting things about driving into Newark is being behind one of these stupid fucks on the highway. I see at least one of these every week, I don't think it's ever the same one. They are always loaded basically the same way. Driving down the highway at 60mph.
You'd think that the cops would be pulling them over all the time to ask them what the fuck their problem is, but I assume the Newark area cops are too busy with the murderings and such. What a shitty fucking hellhole.
What did you call me?!
This bumper sticker is mean. It says, "Watch out for the idiot behind me". I'm not an idiot! You are the idiot!
Wednesday, April 09, 2008
Go fuck yourselves, Route 3 protesters
For the last few weeks, there has been a protest on the side of Route 3. Apparently the Briad Group has done something shameful, and they caused wages and benefits to die and get put into a coffin.
When the morons that are driving on Route 3 see these signs and the coffin and the people standing there, their dumb brains can't help but stare at them and randomly hit their brakes, which causes some nice traffic. Is causing traffic going to help your cause, whiny protesting idiots?
Go protest somewhere else that isn't an already retarded highway, douches. I hope your wages and benefits get even more dead.
When the morons that are driving on Route 3 see these signs and the coffin and the people standing there, their dumb brains can't help but stare at them and randomly hit their brakes, which causes some nice traffic. Is causing traffic going to help your cause, whiny protesting idiots?
Go protest somewhere else that isn't an already retarded highway, douches. I hope your wages and benefits get even more dead.
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